Grandpa Loves Lasik

Grandpa Loves Lasik

I remember that Thanksgiving I came home for the holidays. I had taken a break from college and it was a rainy Maryland afternoon and my grandfather was wearing sunglasses. This caught my attention immediately. They told me he had Lasik vision correction surgery and one of the common temporary side effects was an over-sensitivity to light and halos around bright lights at night. The sunglasses would make sense if he was experiencing that side effect but after sitting down with him in private, he confessed he wasn’t. He was just having a real fun time convincing the rest of the family that he was. That’s the kind of guy my granddad is.

My grandpa always had fun with new gadgets, using people’s sympathy and a chance to tell one of his tales to anyone willing to hear it. It seems like Lasik was invented just so he would have his sunglasses to play with, also, it was a pain-free operation which was suitable. Apart from the sunglasses, grandpa received a pair of goggles from his doctor to wear at night to keep him from rubbing his eyes during sleep.

He wore these at most meals claiming that, in the Lasik manual, it clearly states that you should avoid any grapefruit or wine squirts in the eyes. Here I should point out, we don’t usually help ourselves to a glass of wine for no reason and more importantly, there was no Lasik manual.

Two common side effects of Lasik are the sensitivity to light glares, especially when seen at night and fluctuating vision that lasts several days after the operation. Neither of which my grandfather had experience, yet I have never seen that much of a fuss made about any one of them.

For the fluctuating vision aspect, he claimed he couldn’t clear any dishes after mealtime from the table, otherwise he might drop a few. Also, he refused when sent to the convenience store at night, claiming that driving there… Well, you get the picture. Why he told me about his little white lie is beyond me. I guess having a someone to confide in while cheating makes it all the more fun.

The only real side effect, one of the most common temporary ones, was that his eyes got dry. He received eye drops for this and had to get a second type from the clinic that was thicker to suit his specific case. This is the clinic’s job to make sure the patient gets a good night’s sleep. My grandfather was surprised to see such a successful operation at his age, this is a common misconception as Lasik surgery has no maximum age limit. His doctor informed him about a few other model candidates that were in their seventies. He had even clients in their eighties with successful procedures.

Why grandpa considered the surgery in the first place in a mystery to me. I didn’t think he suffered from wearing glasses. According to this real character, Lasik would make him more appealing to womankind, even though he has been widowed for twelve years now and seemed to be getting by just fine.

Well, one thing he said that was true is the fact that his vision, because of Lasik eye surgery, in better now than it has ever been in the past thirty years. He now seems more involved in everyday tasks and situations than I usually notice him to be. My thanks to you Lasik, for playing that part.